This isn’t any ordinary story about a good girl that gets the bad boy and turns him good, this isn’t a fairytale with a happy ending… This is my story. For a change you won’t be reading about the girl who wants the guy, it’s all about me. I despise the whole “basic high school girls” like gosh, they are all just the same copies and man are they fake but since i despise that everyone seems to hate me. I’ve noticed that every high school has a golden rule that some know and some are too busy with their fake friends to see. The golden rule at Crossroad High is all about survival of the fittest. So, on to the main idea of my little storytelling is to show everyone how I figured out about this “survival of the fittest” rule and I will tell you the story on how I died.
The sunlight flared into my room as I groaned, tucking my head further into the pillow. The light was so bright even with my eyes closed, oh how I regretted not closing my blinds last night. Glancing at my clock with zero motivation to get up and attend class, I realize that I’ve got twenty minutes to get my butt out of my house before I’m late for school again. Being late has become such a regular thing for me, My teachers have threatened to give me an in-school suspension if I’m late to another foods class. I didn’t care about school, I know I probably should care about my education but honestly, I could care less. With that I felt the need to stay home. I didn’t wanna deal with people at school or the rude remarks they would make. I needed me time.
Unplugging my phone from the charger and pressed a social media app. It didn’t take me long to find a video of myself, it was a video collage of me dancing with a guy at a party. Rather than finishing the video I scrolled to lower the page to the comment section. Perhaps a bullet would’ve been less agonizing then what I read. There was words calling me dirty things, people saying the worst about me as they absolutely could.
Pounding filled my ears I drop my phone. It didn’t take more than a few seconds of my breathing to follow in gasps. No… No. No. No. I couldn’t have a panic attack right now. There was no way I’d ever get myself to calm down, not alone at least. I couldn’t relapse now.. no one was home to help. The bullying at school had turned into a constant thing for me, two years ago it had been this bad and I had severe panic attacks and this was my first one since. I knew things had been getting bad again, I had just refused to believe it. I reached in in my medicine cabinet and twisted off the cab of my anxiety pills. I swallowed two of them, then slammed the bottle back on the shelf, but the bottle beside it caught my attention. The sleeping pills seemed to invite me as I took the bottle in my shaking grasp. Sleep. Yes. Surely sleep was what I needed, I would wake up and it would be just another bad dream. It was all too surreal to be reality.
I shook up three tablets and turn on the sink for water to swap them down with, but the medicine wasn’t working fast enough. Why wasn’t my medicine working? I swallowed five more sleeping pills, but five turned to ten and ten rolled to fifteen. For an unforeseen reason I couldn’t stop. I understood in the back of my mind I need to stop, but it was about as dull and lifeless as I felt. When I ran out of pills to swallow I returned to my room where the furniture swayed before me. That didn’t seem to concern me at all, I felt horrible, and all I could do was stand around and feel it.
The short walk to my bed felt like a mile. Every muscle felt limp. I tried for that step, But that’s on the ground closing in at a slow pace. The lights went out before I could feel the impact, and I invited the darkness.
Some people believe there is no heaven, nor hell, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. One’s belief does not cancel out another’s. Faith and fact can coexist or they cannot. That is entirely up to the human race to decide for better or worse. I believe once I died I will go heaven, I was wrong. When I woke up all I saw was grey then after a moment there was a flash and I saw my family finding my body.
I believe that death can be beautiful yes, I will not lie, but it is a painful thing to see those around you die. With death comes the ripple effect. The ripple effect is the theory that a single occurrence, no matter how small can change the course of the entire universe. It is the theory that everything matters, that even the flutter of a butterfly‘s wings can cause hurricanes on the other side of the world. If you change even the smallest of life‘s details, you completely change its outcome.
After I died, I saw my biggest mistake and it was letting bullying take my life. I saw my mother hurt because of me, I saw my father blame himself for what happened to me. My Younger sister who looked up to me didn’t really understand why I was gone and didn’t realize I was never coming back. . I broke my family without even thinking once about it. Now my parents will constantly fight over who was in the wrong and what they could’ve done to help me. I tore apart my parents relationship because they couldn’t stand the look at each other without thinking about me and that hurt them. My sister will grow up with divorced parents and a dead sister. I won’t be there for her when she needs me the most. My biggest mistake was thinking about myself before others. I was selfish.