Oil Country

I’ve often wondered as to what makes me the person I am today. What makes me unique from the people who have been in my life, is it the way I was raised, what religion I followed, or who my friends are? The answer to all of these is “Yes” but the one that Anthony Kiedis pointed out in his biography, “Scar Tissue” may have the most impact of them all, not so much on ourselves but how others view me. Kiedis believed that his life experiences and actions shaped him and made him different from others. I never really thought of my past experiences determining who I am today. I agree that they have an influence how who I’ve become but I shouldn’t be judged on my past experiences alone be the image of who I am, I’ve made mistakes in my life but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person, and the same goes for Anthony Kiedis.

Being a fan of the Red Hot Chili Peppers (Kiedis is the lead singer and songwriter) I knew Kiedis didn’t have what I consider a normal life. He dealt with experiences throughout his life that most people will never even come close to. He started doing drugs by the time he was thirteen, often stayed out late in the sleazy clubs of Los Angeles as a teenager with his father, or was homeless for a while in his twenties, just to name a few. His life was a time bomb just waiting to go off, but he somehow always managed to battle though and evade what seemed like an inevitable young death. I know that I’d judge this person based on what they’ve done, and I now know it’s wrong, even though I’ve continued to judge others. Anthony looked like a mess during his drug use with long hair, sunken eyes, and a body that was clearly withering away. Though these don’t make Kiedis any less of a person, he knew what he was doing was wrong, and throughout the book we see his compassion blossom as does his fame. He always tried to put his friends and the band first, but would often do drugs and miss practice, and he knew he had to stop before it consumed him, he won a few battles but the war seemed endless. As he became a star he used his fame to benefit others across the world, with many benefit concerts such as one for Huntington Disease because they had a friend whose suffered from it, and others for the freedom of Tibet, with countless others to help world that weren’t mentioned in his biography. I’d never think anyone who went through all the ordeals Kiedis has would turn out to be such a great man and inspire millions.

I have led a almost exact opposite life of Anthony. I’ve always had friends and family there to support me, I have a strong faith, and have never even had an encounter to the drug world that he lived every day. But like Anthony I believe I’ve been judged for my actions and experiences in the past and present. I think people who don’t take the time to know me see me as one of those kids who is always trying to deal with the problems immediately and can’t just mellow out and be fun, but I’m actually quite good at both. People my age like to rock and roll all night and party everyday, but I feel because of the position I’ve put myself in with my faith, and organizations like student council, that I’m held to higher expectations. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy being held to a higher expectation but I wish others could see that there is more to me than my actions perseve. Like everyone else I make mistakes, but the faults in a life like mine are more noticable compared to Anthony’s which was composed of faults. In my life I’ve attempted to build up a positive reputation for myself, so when I’m discovered in a negative experience or doing something wrong, I’d take more heat than someone who is expected to be doing wrong.

There are many different parts that build who I am. Every individual has different expereinces that make them unique, and thats what makes our world just awesome. If all people experienced the same life ordeals then it would be like living in a world of  robots, with limited distinction among the collective. Even the negative experiences in our life can have a positive result later in life. I know being diagnosed with diabetes doesn’t seem to have many opportunities to be seen as positive, but since I’ve had to live with this disease it has taught me to be more responsible. Both good and bad experiences in my life make me unique based on how I deal with them, I wouldn’t be the same person if I didn’t learn from my mistakes, or didn’t take responsibility in my life.

As individuals we have to learn to not judge a book by it’s cover. I can’t learn enough about a person by just observing their actions and appearance, to understand who they really are. I know I’m guilty of judging others before I get to know them based on their actions. As I stated previously, I don’t want to be judged for the experiences in my life, so it’s not fair that I judge others for what they do, as the bible states “Judge not lest ye be judged - Matthew 7:1″. Meaning that if I judge people I’ll be judged in return. Idealists dream of a world were all individual are free from the judgement of others, but I never see this dream becoming reality. Until the day I can embrace the world as Anthony Kiedis did I feel I will contiue to judge people, and be judged in return. Anthony didn’t care what people thought of him as he battled through life sporting crazy hair, always doing what he wanted to no matter how others perseved it, and rocking our in ridiculous attire, or none at all. I’m not saying I aspire to have the same life experiences as Anthony, but I do aspire to have the same carefree personality free from judgement.

Everyone aspires to have a better life. To be able to do more, see more, and have more. Everyone sees the rich Hollywood stars on television and how much money they have and figure that’s the good life. For most people that life is just a fantasy that will never become reality, but it is a goal we all want to achieve. I often associate a high standard of living with happiness because the freedom to buy anything, or go anywhere would just be awesome. Although I’ve been taught a high standard of living doesn’t always result in a high quality of life, it is hard to accept. I think many people tell their kids that so they won’t miss important things in their life due to a pursuit of wealth.

In the poem “Chimney Sweeper” in the “Songs of Innocence” it takes of a boy named Tom, who has what I would call a terrible life, who is quite happy with himself and his life. His mother died when he was young and his father later sold him, now he is one of many child chimney sweepers in the city. But one day Tom had a dream where an angel came to him and told him that if he was a good boy that one day he’d go to heaven and God would be his father who loved him. This promise meant the world to Tom as even in the cold nights his happiness would keep him warm, and his spirits high. There is no way I could be content with my life in a situation such as this. First off his mother is gone and his father sold him, there is no way I’d be the way I am today if it wasn’t for the love and support my parents have given me. Tom had one of the worst jobs in his time, crawling down filthy chimneys  to clean all the soot and dirt of the walls. Despite these terrible aspects of his life he remained happy because of something he was promised in a dream. He was happy with his life even though he didn’t have a mansion in a tropical country or drove a Ferrari, but what he did have was faith. His faith was able to keep his spirits high, he overlooked the negatives in his life, and he believed that if he continued to be good and behave that he would someday find the home he deserved. I know I couldn’t just overlook the life this boy had been given because of a promise in a dream, I’d always be down on myself and looking for a way out, but Tom believed he had a good life, and this most readers would disagree, but he did have the good life because he was happy with the life he had.

In the “Song of Experience” version of the same poem, there is a similar story told, but with some differences. The child in this story has parents, who were presently at church. I see this poem talks of the boy being dead, and has now transcended to heaven. If this is the boy from the first poem it’s good to know he has reached his goal, and will now have God as a father who loves him. These parents were obviously irresponsible as they made their son do the hazardous job of chimney sweeping. Although they thought they had done no harm as the boy was always happy with his life, because of his belief in something better. It’s amazing how a kid could be happy with the parents he had, and the job he was forced to do. The thing I find strange is how this boy is happy to be dead, usually that would mean he had a terrible life on earth, but somehow this kid was always happy with it.

Both of these kids aspired to go to heaven where God would take care of them. In the second poem i tells of it happening and it’s everything he hoped for, he was able to sing, dance, and rejoice in his newfound home. Although both of them had terrible lives, being homeless, one of them alone, and having the job of crawling through chimneys cleaning them . Most people couldn’t handle what these people go through everyday, as I’m accustom to having a home, being able to hang with my friends, and not have to work to scrap by  in life. I’ve followed a Catholic religion all my life so I’ve believed since I was young that I will eventually go to heaven but that alone hasn’t had a huge impact on my outlook on life, although it is always in the back of my mind. These poems have shonwn me just how much I take for granted. It seem the most important things in my life are the those I forget to thank for the most, such as family, friends, and freedom, because they’re there every day. There are plenty of people who don’t have these oppurtunities but still beleive they have a good life, so it’s hard for me to ignore how great my life is.

It is really up to the individual to determine for themselves if they are living the good life. Once I stopped chasing my fantasy life I could accept my life for what it is. I’m truely happy with my life, and what path I’ve taken it on. If I said my life was terrible and i beeived that, then my life would become terrible. Sure not everything is perfect, but I have alot more going for me then I do against me. As I’m doing well in school, have many great friends, a close family, and feel like I’m making a difference in my school through student council, all of which I’m thrilled about. After you accept that your unrealistic dream may not come true, you can discover your realistic dreams have come true. I don’t need a huge house, or a fancy sports car to have the good life, because I’m already living the good life.

As humans we all hold different beliefs and values. My beliefs set me apart from other’s in my school, community, and the world. There are beliefs that have minimal influence on my life, while others play a major role in who I am. It is up to me as an individual to decide how much I allow my values and beliefs shape my life, giving the wrong values to much priority in my life could turn me into someone I don’t want to be, that why I must know what paths I’m taking my life down. Our beliefs give us a self image of who we are, and I am very pleased with the person I have turned out to be, sure it is easy to point out the negatives in my life but I have learned how to see the positive in most situations. My beliefs also alter how others view me and how they react to my actions and words. So it is clear that our beliefs and choices about them are a huge part of our lives in my eyes and the eyes of other.

Fortunately I live in a country that doesn’t persecute those who stand against the beliefs of the majority, such as China in the late 1900’s.  The event occurred in 1989 and is know infamously worldwide as the Tiananmen Square massacre. This started as a group of students who strongly believed in democracy, which was the opposing ideal to China’s Communism system. The protest was near the Tiananmen Square, as many Communist nations had converted to a democracy these students encouraged China to do the same. The army was ordered to clear the protesters by force if necessary. This did not stop the protesters, because they were so sure of what they believed in that they were wiling to sacrifice their lives. There is no official death count but the estimate is around 3,000 protesters were killed. This photo is what appears in my head when I think of this massacre as an individual refused to move for oncoming tanks, and the tanks halted directly in front of him, just the thought of risking my life by standing in front of these sixty ton war machines is ridiculous. There is no way I would attempt to stop these war machines from advancing alone for anything I believe in. Although I strongly believe in standing for your principles, it amazes me just how committed these people were that they were wiling to sacrifice their lives in hopes of making their country better.

Some of the smaller values are those such as which sports teams we support, or who are favorite bands are. For me these values don’t hold enough value to greatly impact my life. Sure I’m happy the Edmonton Oilers broke their thirteen game losing streak, and I’m really upset John Frusciante quite the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Although these can affect me emotionally, neither one of these facts is going to have a major impact on my life, unless I let it. Other values such as my relationship to God and  pride in my community and school have really shaped my life into who I am today. I have embraced my relationship with God by going to church most of my life, and attending Youth Group since I was in grade 6. My sense of pride in my actions didn’t start developing until later in school as I represented both school volleyball, and basketball sports teams, and held a position on our high school, student council since grade ten.

In high school many people chose not to stand up for their beliefs, because they are afraid to be different. I know how it feels as it hurts to know you’re not being liked for yourself, because you’ve had to deny what you’re passionate about, but it can hurt more to not be liked at all. For a couple of years I was afraid to be myself in fear of being rejected by those around me, I fit in but never seemed to stand out for the individual I am.

There are disadvantages to standing for your principles. As I mentioned before sometimes you have to change to be accepted by others, and I’m telling all those people who say I should drop all my friends who don’t like me for the true me, that it’s impossible to just reject your friends and be better off. By participating in student council I have had to given up time with my friends and have slightly grown apart from them, but at the end of the day we still call each other friends. I also have to give up opportunities to do what I want to do, because of my increased responsibilities. So I no loner have the freedom to watch movies, or goof off as much as I would of if I hadn’t followed my beliefs.  By being a part of my school’s student council there is a weight put on my shoulders to represent the school through my actions and words. With every mistake I make comes the extended judgements, because of my reputation among my school and community.

Obviously there are benefits to standing for my principles as well. If the cons outweighed the pros there would be no point of doing it. Even though I have drifted from some of my other friends, I have made many great friends who hold similar beliefs to me so I know I don’t have to change myself for them to accept me. These friends have helped me take great steps in embracing my beliefs. Even though I have increased responsibilities it no longer bothers me and has taught me how to deal with different choices in my life. These lessons will help me for years to come, as I have to make important decisions when I’m living on my own, and now I know how to weigh the possibilities in most situations. With more responsibilities I feel like more relies on me and it feels good to know that I’m making a difference in my community. Becoming a leader in my school has taken me much further than I ever expected as last summer I was honored with the opportunity to travel to Indianapolis to partake in a very prestigious leadership conference, which was truly unforgettable experience. With my role in the school I feel somewhat like a role model to the younger students in my school, and this can be bad if I make wrong choices but I’m confident in myself to make the right ones.

There’s no guarantee that everyone who stands for their principles will prosper as much as I have. There are many risks that you may have to take to becoming yourself. Some risk include stepping out of your comfort zone and letting your voice be heard, which is harder said than done. Many, such as I, are/were afraid of being classified as different as we’ve all seen the effects of being classed as an outcast. For me the risk was worth it as I’ve never been ashamed of who I am, and as many know, don’t hesitate to step out of my comfort zone. Although for others they have to ask themselves “Is the juice worth the squeeze?”

This group called the Pharisees started a discrimination that would carry on for thousands of years. Back then they thought themselves superior to all other groups. These people classed as unworthy where continually discriminated against and made to feel unworthy. They decided what was clean and unclean, those considered unclean were the sinners, prostitutes, poor people, and the mentally ill. They created a class system that has been seen all throughout history such as the French Revolution, and Rwanda. 

This class system still continues to day especially in high school. There always seems to be a set amount of people who rule the school with their rebellious ways. They get their kicks by putting down others, and deciding who is “cool” and “uncool”, much like the Pharisees decided who was clean and unclean. It sucks being in the lower part of the system because it seems like no one wants to hang with me and the people I considered my friends where always talking behind my back trying to make themselves better. I don’t see a day where bullying doesn’t exist in the world there are always people who think they are better, like the Pharisees, and find the need to put others down to bring themselves up. This is why individuals have a tough time growing because to be different is to be  put down against, and no one wants this, so its easy to fall into the wrong groups who will accept us.

I don’t know why the Pharisees though they were better than anyone else, or why anyone today thinks they are better than others. But Jesus was better than them but took no pride in it. He saw everyone as equals and it is hard even for the best of us to see others as equals. I will admit that I see the people who bully others as less than the leaders in our community. This is why I value things like Student Council as I try to change this in our school. I’m sure I can’t stop bullying in our school forever as I graduate next year, but if I can leave an impact on the people in my school that is the best I can do.

God has always been a part of my life and always will be. Its hard of me to understand just how well God knows me, he knows more about myself than I do.In Jeremiah God says” Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you” God knows my purpose and it is up to me to discover my purpose in life.

My goal is to discover my purpose in life, and the chances won’t always present themselves to me, so I want to open as many opportunities as possible. To do this I don’t always think about what I do, I just say think if it’s going to be fun why not do it. I occasionally regret my choice and wish I could have another chance, but usually it works out for the better. I’m not going to find new things to do if I just live in my own little world. Over the years I’ve participated in many sports like soccer, basketball, volleyball, and rec. hockey just to name a few. When it comes to sports I have no regrets because it has made me a better person. 

To God it doesn’t matter if I’m a good athlete or am on student council if I have the wrong impression of it and continue to only think about myself it doesn’t matter what I do. What matters is the lessons I learn, and I have learned so much from my choices. Sports have taught my how to be a leader, and I’ve learned that winning isn’t the most important win, and with that I can take the good with the bad, not just one or the other. Being a leader in sports led me to be a leader in school so I joined student council almost two years ago and believe I’ve made an impact within the school community.  As an individual I’ve wonder what God has in store for me, so I chose to learn more about him by going to Fusion, and it has opened my eyes to all the great things God has and can do/done, in my life already. There is no telling what God has planned in my life, its like a roller-coaster sometimes life goes up and sometimes it goes down, but either way I know I’ll arrive at the place thats right for me in the end.

When I reflect upon myself one of  the first thing that gets pointed out is my my negatives. I was always thinking it doesn’t matter how many good qualities I have the one that stick out are the bad ones. However over they years I’ve greatly changed my individualism, so instead of dwelling on those negatives, my goal is to change them. 

There are many aspects of myself I have no power over. For example if I didn’t like the color of my eyes(even though I do), there is nothing I can do to change that (I think?). Even though I can’t change these problems there are other ways that I can look at them. There are also qualities of myself that I want to change but its easier said than done.

There are a few things in my life that I want to change, but just can’t by myself. One of my problems that frustrates me most is my diabetes. Most people think that because I’ve had the disease since I was two I’d be use to it but realistically as I become older new doors open to me, and sometimes my diabetes seem like a chain keeping me from these opportunities. But I have changed how much control I have over it. When I was young and went over to a friends place I would have to phone my mom to relay how much food I’d eaten and she would tell me how much insulin I would have to give myself, and sometimes I would have to do this around four times a day.

There are some aspects that I want to change but, there are often obstacles I can’t overcome. One thing about myself I am working to achieve is being more assertive of myself and stand for what I believe in . Although I often stand for what I believe in, its hard to stand alone. I feel over the years I have taken big steps through leadership courses and conferences, and help in individualism from my friends. It’s easy to stand for what I believe in when I have other who believe in the same thing. I haven’t reached this goal of mine but I think I’m on my way.

As a summary of my life I think I’ve done pretty well, and am headed in the right direction.  I have some bad features but I have to face them not just dwell on them. It’s easy to say I’ll change than to actually change, but I feel I have a long way to go in life and I am doing pretty well so far.

It seems like a new hero is born everyday. Our society throws the term “Hero” around whenever someone seemingly does the impossible. Dictionary.com defines a hero as a man of distinguished courage or ability, and that is what I often see in the many heros in societyOften these temporary heros influence others to be like them and make our world better. Everyone has different heros and even among my friends we all have valid view of why we look up to our heros. 

For most people the first thing that comes to mind when they hear the word “hero” is someone wearing a goofy costume and using superpowers to uphold justice. I know I think of these fictional character when people talk about heros as when I was a kid my favorite were Spiderman, Ironman, and the X-Men. But I can’t expect to go very hard in life idolizing made up cartoon characters.

The hero’s of the real world are those who do the unexpected by putting themselves at risk for other people. Although the general public will often forget these brave people, but those people they saved will forever be in their debt. One event that comes to thought is when that plane leaving a New York airport apparently hit a few birds upon takeoff and didn’t have enough power to go anywhere but when over 900 feet in the air, until pilot Chesley B. “Sully” Sullenberger landed the ascending aircraft into the Hudson River. He was titled a hero for saving over one hundred lives. I’m sure many will forget about his heroic deeds but I’m sure the passengers never will. 

Our society is filled with many unsung heros, and those are the ones I believe in. I idolize the players in sports, amateur or professional, who don’t give up no matter what the score, whether they are taking a beating or playing a meaningless game they just don’t quite. One of these people is Ethan Moreau, even though he isn’t the best player on the team he always makes an impact by doing everything he can to give his team a chance, and often doesn’t receive credit because his name isn’t on the scoreboard. Other heros of mine are people in school who aren’t suppressed by peer pressure. These people try to make the school a better place and its hard with al the negativity that can be presented to people who try to be leaders, it hard for kids to take the hard way. 

I don’t have to be any different to be a hero, I don’t have to be really strong or really smart to influence other’s lives. I’m doing my part to make the community a better place and thats all I can do, I might not get any results now but hopefully my actions will influence others to follow my ways and be a hero to them.

Through my life I’ve always held the ideal of never giving up to heart. I’ve tried to demonstrate this in sports and even when it seems I’m destined to lose I still give it my all in working towards victory. One moment at an Edmonton Oilers game I went to a couple of years ago where the players rallied around their leader to seemingly do the impossible. 

My dad had bought four tickets to the game on  October 12th 2006 vs the San Jose Sharks. It was Me my dad, brother and, a friend of my choice who was a fellow oil fan, Dan Webb. I usually get to one Oiler game a year but to me it never gets old, I always feel a great deal of excitement on the day of the game, and this day was no different. 

This was a high stake game, as the prior year the Oilers upset the Sharks in the playoffs and this was the first game since so the Sharks had something to prove, but the Oilers where in the midst of battle for the playoffs this year. As the players skate on to the ice I could feel the intensity rise. The first period was a battle with Patrick Thorossen of the Oilers striking first. But the Sharks wouldn’t go down easy as the dreaded combination of  Cheechoo and Thorton hooked up twice to give the Sharks the lead going into the second, but I still had faith in the Oilers. 

  In the second Cheechoo scored another to give him the natural hatrick. Later in the period San Jose’s Milan Michalik buried a goal of his own giving the Sharks the 4-1 edge which would be reduced by  Joffery Lupul to 4-2.

It was hard to keep hope as Oilers often struggled in battling back in the third. Just four minutes in Oilers had a five-on-three and I thought to myself if they don’t get it going on this power-play then our chances of victory where slim to none. But just then Stoll took a shot from the point that hit Ryan Smyth in front. Dan and I flung from our seats to celebrate the goal. Our team was only down by one and still had a power-play for a while. Just as I was getting back into my seat, Smyth tipped another shot into the back of the net. Just sixteen seconds after his first, tied the game and little did I know gave Smyth his 500th career point, and Dan and I where waving a vibrant orange sign reading “Smyth for Mayor“, and I look up to see us on the jumbo screen, and I couldn’t believe it. As the period continue the Oilers keep up the pressure and with a simple dump and chase Smyth gets the puck in the corner from what looked like an impossible angle to get his own natural hatrick. He also broke on of Gretzky’s record for fasted hatrick which Smyth achieved in two minutes and one second which was seventeen seconds less than Gretzky. Although the Sharks continued to battle they couldn’t build up the momentum they needed and the Oilers scored an empty net goal late in the third to seal the deal.

Both Dan and I agreed this was the best Oiler game we’d been to and probably ever will go to as we are both huge Smyth fans. But I think its fair to say for both of us one of the biggest highlights was on the way home. My dad got a phone call and after answering handed the phone to me. It was my mom and she told me that on highlights on Roger’s Sportsnet, when Smyth scored his second goal there was a clip of Dan and me holding waving the poster. They only way I could of believed it was if saw it myself, and I stayed up late that night to do so. I’m certain neither Dan or I will ever forget this night.

To experience what I did click on they Smyth for Mayor link in the story.

“Yeah and to be yourself is all that you can do
Hey, to be yourself is all that you can do”

“Someone finds salvation in everyone, another only pain”

“Someone tries to hide himself, down inside himself he prays”

“Be Youself - Audioslave”

Not only does this song have a good message it backs it up with an amazing song, becoming another masterpiece by Audioslave. But their message is easier said then done. As I’ve grow it becomes harder to maintain my individuality while being part of a group, and its easier to use other identities to feel better about myself. Being yourself, or myself in this case, can often lead to being rejected by others. Most people have a image of what being cool is about what expectations I have to live up to. Living by my own ideals can mean I don’t have the same interests as everybody else which leaves me out of the group. This is why people change themselves, to fit in with others.

I’ve tried to “hide myself down inside myself” before. When I was younger I took lots of heat for being an individual and standing for my beliefs, but there was only so much I could take. I soon became one of the pack following the leaders who influenced what I should give my attention to and what I shouldn’t care about. But now I was part of a group even though it wasn’t the real me who had been accepted, it was a me others created, but I thought I found salvation in feeling welcomed, but what I really felt was pain. The pain that they didn’t accept me for me I had to be the person they wanted me to be. I always said I’d become the individual I wanted to be, but after long enough I might not be able to go back, I’d be this cration of expectations forever.

However, I changed my errors by finding friends who accept me for who I am as I accept them for who they are. I’m not judged for my individualism or  ideals within the group. An example is NHL teams as I like the Edmonton OIlers, I have friends that like the: Calgary Flames, Detroit Red WIngs, Anaheim Ducks, Dallas Stars and Toronto Maple Leafs, but we all accept each other for that. I’ve taken a step further in increasing individualism by joining Student Council. Lots of people think its pointless to join student council, but they don’t realize what council does for this school, and how great it actually is. Last year in religion I learned about “masks” and people who wear them and pretend to be someone else, kind of like I did. Hopefully by pushing student council’s influence and knowledge from the leadership conferences I’ve attended, I can get others like me to discard their mask and show their individualism too.