Proud Blonde!

God envisions each and every one of us before we are even conceived, and I am no different. God has set reasons for me on Earth, and as I mature as a young lady, I will find and surpass these goals and reasons. God knows me better than me or anyone else, and he knows the struggles I go through in my life to find and appreciate these set reasons of my life. I understand that my life as well as everyone in and around it are in God’s hands, and I am working to accept this to allow myself to be closer to God, to allow me to be closer to the one person who knows me best. In my teenage years I have found more weaknesses I possess than abilities, though my interests cover all my weaknesses and strengths. What God thinks of me is how he sees me using my strengths and accept my weaknesses, and the common goal to everyone in life is accepting failures and succeeding in strengths. I am determined that this goal of my humanity will be reached, so long as I don’t lose my faith that He who knows me best will guide me to this goal.

High school has been a huge learning curve for me, recognizing my strengths in social or English compared to my weakness in math. I have had to accept and adjust to the unnatural learning and comprehending of numbers and formulas. I enjoy defending my opinion and expressing my point of view, which I can do in school subjects of social and English. I went through elementary and middle level with a relatively small amount of effort or care, so when I came into high school courses and had homework every night I was overwhelmed. I started to see lower marks on my tests and assignments, especially with math and chemistry courses, but starting caring less also because I still had better marks than my friends and family. Going home with a 51% on a math mid-term this year really opened my eyes to reality that I cannot be perfect in everything, that I am not as strong in some subjects as others, but also that I needed a much harder work-ethic in school. I have begun to realize how critical my grade 11 year is in high school, and since that very stressful mid-term mark, have made a more honest effort to be the best I can be. God sent me this learning curve relatively early in my high school career, before I ruined my education with a lack of caring. God knows that I need a push every now and then to keep on track, and this push had to be a little harder than most, but it did what it was meant to do.

As a child when I went through the death of my grandparents, I felt completely lost and misplaced on this earth, that my life was not fair. I remember dropping my mom off at the University Hospital in Edmonton when my grandma got sick. I cried as we drove away, seeing my mom and aunty carol waving good-bye to us. I didn’t quite understand why I was so upset, but my compassion felt the pain my mom did, with her mom dying and in being away from me and my siblings. When I was allowed to go to the hospital to see my mom, my grandma had gotten worse, and so had my mom. She was upset and felt the loss and confusion that comes with death. I felt everything my mom was feeling, and when I seen her crying with my dad, I could not help but allow myself to lose control too. When I was a few years older and went to Callaway Park with my aunt, uncle, cousins, and siblings we left my parents behind. I had a very memorable and fun few days, and was exhausted into sleep on the drive home. I will never forget pulling into the nursing home parking lot in the dark and seeing my Aunty Charlotte’s truck. She lives in B.C. and I knew something was wrong. My aunt and uncle never said much, but as we walked to my grandpa’s room, and I seen the family there, seen the tired eyes from crying, I knew my life was going to change again. Throughout these huge moments in my life, I learned about the strengths God had given me in my faith in family and love for them. Dedication to my family that I had learned from them, as well as compassion and intelligence from God allowed me to see into the changes I was going through. God was with me the whole walk through these hard times, and I am so thankful I had someone to lean on.

I have grown up in a very athletic and active family, so learning a love and strength for sports was inevitable. I have grown up in sports my whole life, including hockey, golf, softball, volleyball, basketball, badminton, and running that have changed who I am as a person. The teamwork and dedication it takes to be a vital team member has been incorporated into my life in school, work, and sports. My strength in sports has also allowed me to see others weaknesses. I have played sports with players much higher in skill level than myself, but also those with lower skill levels. I always have a tight bond with my teammates, but when competitiveness takes over others, I see the harm it implicates onto others. I have been in the middle of skill level pack, and have been used to being told what to do, but also take pride in being asked to help develop others skills because they are not as high as required for the “A” team or the “Sr.” team. I have seen friends succeed me, as well as others fail below me, and have had to adjust to my skill set to allow others to use me as a building block, while also develop my skills with those higher than I. God created me with the middle skill set because He knew I would be able to help others and make a better team.

It is evident through the hardest times in my life, my God has been with me, and allowed me to learn from mistakes. God knows me better than others, he knew how I felt about each and every situation. He showed me how to make the most of every situation in my life, from death to success. God knows everything about me, and judges me on how I use the gifts and talents he has given me, also the gifts and talents he has given others to teach me. God knows who I am, knows who I will be, and will be with me through it all, seeing to it that I make the most of my life.