Proud Blonde!

A teenage girl’s dramatic life can really be put into perspective when she is reunited with her older sister after a long 5 months. When my sister left home in early August for Salmon Arm, BC she left her little sister in a time where she was just learning how to be the young lady she was. I was in the midst of my first relationship, going into my grade 12 year, and trying to enjoy the last summer I had before I was thrown into the real world of a high school graduate. Little did I know how much my life would change in the time Corissa was away from home.

The relationship ended, school and volleyball were well underway, I was in touch with friends lost over the summer, and life went on. Before I knew it, my best friends were coming of age, my family was bestowing more responsibility upon me, and I was no longer just the teenage girl I had been before. With all the homework, working a part time job, and volleyball my time was booked solid; I kept busy to keep from thinking about the past or the intimidation of the future. It wasn’t yet that I truly realized the changes going on in my life, it would be months before I would have the time and energy to reflect on this growth.

My friends were spending more and more time with their boyfriends, my school workload had me overwhelmed, and even when I had a chance for spare time, all I could think of was catching up on sleep. I started to feel like my senior year was nothing but stressful, and without my sister I had no one to turn to. I could always talk to Corissa about what was going on in my life, but now I had to shoulder it all on my own. Sure I could call or text her, but she would never really understand how I was feeling that way. I realized I had to change my mentality of dealing with life, I had to become independent. Without Corissa, I was going to become a young lady who had the courage to rely on myself.

It wasn’t easy, and there were many times I would just break down and cry. But I had decided it was time to grow up and stop relying on others. I found my priority list and knew that what I needed the most was to be able to be proud of myself and do my best with the remaining time I had at home and in high school. It wouldn’t be long until I was at university or college and I needed to be ready for that. So I put school and homework at the top of the list. Next would be my family and closest friends, then work and sports. I was going to enjoy my last year, and no one was going to take it from me.

I got a tutor for math (something I had never expected to happen), I started all my applications for universities, I wrote essay after essay for scholarships, and I worked hard. It all started to pay off. Not only did my marks improve, I felt more in control of my own surroundings. I started to relax, never slacking in my efforts, but I got into a routine that allowed me to have faith in my abilities and enjoy working hard. It was still overwhelming with evening chemistry 30 classes, morning math 30 pure classes, and 6 page essays for social 30-1. But I battled, and I have never been more proud of myself. I had set my mind to it, and I was succeeding.

I realized the friends I could really count on when I needed them, I got addicted to coffee, and made a commitment to working out. I was actually enjoying my grade 12 year, single and having fun with the people who made me happy. I wasn’t constantly worrying about the next exam or essay, I had time to talk to friends and family, I was getting proper amounts of sleep, and I even found a self-confidence that had never existed before. I had finally found the balance I needed between hard work and happiness.

Christmas break came before I knew it, and wouldn’t you know that I couldn’t think of anything better to do than sleep and relax. Though I worked most days, even attempted studying a few times, I quickly fell out of my killer routine. The break was definitely needed, and I don’t regret a minute of the slack time I had. It was this break that turned out to be my saving grace before the hell we went through as grade 12s in January. The highlight of this break though was without a question when Corissa came home Christmas Eve.

I couldn’t believe how much time had passed since my sister had been home. It was so weird to have her sit at the supper table with us, to get ready with her in my room in the mornings, even just to see her walking around the house. Corissa and I also seemed on a more level playing field than ever before, I was shocked to find that her and I could relate and understand each other so well. It wasn’t until these few days we shared together that I realized how much things had changed. She no longer treated me like I was the annoying little brat that followed her around all those years, she actually seemed to enjoy spending time with me again. We could talk about anything together and not fight with each other.

She must have gotten more reasonable while in BC, my aunt and uncle must have taught her respect and courtesy, I thought of a million different reasons for our sudden ability to be loving sisters. I told her this, and she just laughed. She showed me the real reason we were not only sisters, but friends. I had changed. All the drama and stress I had learned to cope with in the last 5 months turned me into a young lady. Yes, Corissa had changed herself but not near the extent I had. When I told her how my life had been while she was gone, she knew I wasn’t the little sister she left at home 5 months before, I was changed, and for the better. She was so proud of me, I could tell by the way she talked to me, the way she looked at me, and I was happy, truly happy. I found this happiness with Corissa’s help, but I had created it to be found all on my own. With or without my sister and role model, I have become a young lady, and I am prepared for my future. I am ready.