Explain how effectively this scene works as a piece of drama. Pick another episode in the story that would work well as a dramatic scene and rewrite it using the example provided by Findley as a model. Remember to make the dialogue specific to each character’s personality.
When all the text and dialog is put into a script, you can visually see what they are saying the line for line and actually understand what they are saying. When the dialog is all bunched up into one huge paragraph you can lose sight of the bigger picture rather than having each line be separated. When one character is speaking to another you read one line after the next and you can visually see in your mind what is happening and actually feel how they are feeling in the story.
POLICE OFFICER: (to me) Hey! Neil!
ME: How do you know my name? (I said in a whisper)
POLICE OFFICER: They told me
POLICE OFFICER: Have you been here all night?
POLICE OFFICER: Don’t you realize that everyone has been looking for you all over the place? Nobody’s even been to sleep. Do you want to tell me what is it you’re doing up here?
POLICE OFFICER: Oh
ME: I fell asleep again
POLICE OFFICER: When-last night?
POLICE OFFICER: Why did you come up here in the first place?
ME: I want to hide on my dad
POLICE OFFICER: Why do you want to do that? And besides, Mrs. Currie said your parents weren’t even here
ME: Yes, but he’s coming today
POLICE OFFICER: But why hide on him? Don’t you like him, or something?
ME: Sure I do. But he’s…Do you know if its true, my dad’s joining the army?
POLICE OFFICER: I dunno. Maybe. There’s a war going on, you know.
ME: Well that’s why I hid
POLICE OFFICER: (he laughed) Is that why you hid from him? Because of the war?
ME: Because of my dad
POLICE OFFICER: You don’t need to hide because of the war-the Germans aren’t coming over here, you know
ME: But it’s not that. It’s my dad. I could have told you he wouldn’t understand