To Grieve Is to Carry Another Time
To grieve is to carry another time, is about a man who was adopted from Korea, and how being adopted made him feel like time was affecting his life, and how he lost his wife to cancer and how time felt out of place when she passed away.
In the beginning, he demonstrates that time passes more quickly on earth depending on gravity. We experience time every day, and its not a thing, its just days and nights and gravity. He gives the example that he read a book about time, and how it has to do with gravity. The less gravitational force there is, the longer time feels to you. Time is just there, affecting us all, ageing us, and giving us things to remember that happened in the past. Making you question about time, and why it even exists, and how it works and affects us.
Knowing he was adopted, he explained that he felt like he was in 2 different times. One where he lived now, and on where he would be if he wasn’t adopted. He exclaims that his mother was a prostitute, and that’s how he came to be. He was put up for adoption because he made her life more difficult than it should be. People made him feel different because his mother didn’t want him, and he felt like time was different each time, because he would think about how life would be if he was still with her. He explains how he thinks he would be living with his mother. How he would be starving because of the lack of money, how he would be poor and abused. Then he thinks about how he is now, and how good of a life he has with parents that want him and that love him and take care of him.
When the mans wife died, he was also stuck in 2 times, one in the current moment, and one in the past when she was still alive. He gives points where family members asked how the couple met, and he says it feels like being sucked back in time, to when they didn’t even know each other. He thinks about the times him and his wife, and 2 children had as a family. He thinks about what hes going to do without her, and raising his 2 children by himself. When he thinks about her dying, when he was holding her lifeless hand, he was thinking about the times they spent when she was alive, and how they met. He says he thinks about when they didn’t even know each other, and what would’ve happened if they never met, or is she never died. He wouldn’t be grieving, and he wouldn’t have his 2 children. He also explains how being married means you carry 2 times as well. You plan who’s going to pick up the kids from school, what time to eat and what time to leave for work.
From reading the story, he says our lives revolve around time, and how grieving sets you in a different times affects how you think and feel. Personally, I agree with the main idea of the story. When you grieve, time feels really different because you think about the past and what you did with someone while they were still here, then you think of in the moment, and wonder what would happen if they were still here as well. Feeling emotions puts you in 2 different time frames and makes you remember things you either want to remember, or don’t. It also makes you think about the “what if’s” in a situation. Your never just in 1 time, your always carrying 2 times when you think about it. Especially with grief, we question “what if they were still here?” or we remember the times we had with that person when they were still alive. It puts us in the past, or present and makes us ask the question “why” or “what if” every day.