I had a lifetime dream of playing of the Canadian Women’s fastball team at the Olympics. I dreamt of wearing that Maple Leaf on my chest and seeing my parents smiling back at me. My family understood what was needed to be at that level and they completely supported me with every move I had to make. My closest friends did not understand the lack of time they could spend with me but they also respected the time we did have.

I have been on a ball field all my life and have played since T-ball. At the age of 15 my parents and I agreed that I was not being challenged enough with the softball in the area and started looking for something more. Lloydminster was our answer.  Playing ‘A’ caliber of fastball helped show off the skills I had learned from various coaches, and my parents. Tracy, the scout of the Canadian women’s fastball team, soon took me under her wing and taught me the needed advancements that allowed me to go with the Calgary Diamond Devils to San Diego.

The pressure of playing at this level was very intense and demanding. The Diamond Devils had four coaches one outfield coach, one infield coach, nutritionist, and one head coach. We all had a small contract to follow which included a no eating list, no cell phone rule, respect clause, and further more. This fastball allowed for little social life because the travel was difficult, and time-consuming. My dad and I normally made the trip to Calgary every weekend and I had to work out every other night and practice on the off days. All my time away from school was to be focused on fastball.

People did not understand how I balanced aspects of my life . I honestly tried to put on a face that showed I had all my life under control but truly the pressure was getting to me and distancing me from friends and my sister.  I changed the amount of communication that I was involved in, I was changing myself I quickly learned. I did not want people to notice the stress I had in my life because it was not their dilemma to be faced with. I never wanted to cause others problems. I wanted to have a separate  life from fastball and home life.

I did not like what this caliber of fastball was doing to my life. My life was changing as I knew it I wanted my old life back. I never thought I would ever pass the chance of my dream up but I had to choose my life or fastball. As I was conflicted between keeping my dream alive or having a social life, my dad and I had numerous, deep talks about our shared dream. My dad kept saying “I will support you in whatever you do, as long as you want to be doing it.” I decided to stop playing this high-end caliber and to regain my social life.

Fastball gave me a rush of freedom, excitement and relaxing joy. Sports are a big part in my families lifestyle, we are strong-headed towards staying fit and spending time together. Family time is limited in our family so sports have brought us together, so sports symbolizes family and being together. I am not losing that feeling just pulling back on the caliber, although I may have the chance to play on a ‘A’ caliber fastball team in edmonton.

Playing in the Olympics was a lifetime goal and dream I shared with my dad. I would have done anything to get to that level but once I found out the amount of time needed to be at that level I couldn’t handle the pressure. The pressure had me change who I was and how I interacted with my family and friends. Being under that pressure caused me to buckle and alter my dream. Family and friends helped me get as far as I did because of their respect, love, help, and commitment.  I owe them all a great amounts of thanks.